March2, 2006

Well, I thought I would make this page something of a journal. We are 3 months into our adoption process and boy am I getting a bit of a lesson. For all of my planning and budgeting things are not working out according to MY plans and timing. I am learning that "life" will happen and that if I am depending on and counting on my own timeline, I am likely to be really frustrated and angry. As of right now we are ready with our paperwork to turn in our home study, and be a step closer to our daughter in China. "Life" however got in the way and after some car repairs and income tax issues we find ourselves without enough money on hand to submit said paperwork. I of course had a timeline set up in my mind and spent several angry days fuming that things got in my way. Over the past few days though, God has reminded me through various people as well as my Bible study that He is the one in control. God has a plan for our lives, which include the adoption of our little girl. God chose Mackenzie (and He knows who and where she is) to be our daughter long before we were even born. He has a plan and a timeline to ensure that we are matched up with the little girl who will become Mackenzie, and not a different little girl. The other lesson God is teaching me is that I need to concern myself with only today's needs and concerns. I am focusing my energies on coming up with funds and chasing down paperwork that are not "today's" issues. Before I can focus on tomorrow or 3 months from now or a year from now, I have to get through today. So my prayers now focus on God's grace and provision for today. Oh there is still planning. Not to plan would show a lack of responsibility and stewardship. Rather, planning is ok, so long as my focus and energy is on today. Wow. Ok. So as we wait, we save, as we save we learn patience and the Lord prepares us and our daughter to become a family. What a blessing! ~T