July 20, 2006

What Now?

Steven Curtis Chapman: all things new album

I saw the face of Jesus

In a litte orphan girl

She was standing in a corner

On the other side of the world

And I heard the voice of Jesus

Gently whisper to my heart

Didn't you say you wanted to find me

Well, here I am Here you are.

chorus: So what now

What will you do now that you've found me

What now

What will you do with this treasure you've found

I know I may not look like what you expected

But if you'll remember

This is right where I said I would beYou found me

What now?

I really wanted to share the song above. This hit me like a ton of bricks the first time I heard it which was quite a while ago. In this adoption process as we bring home our little girl - we also are living out what Jesus called us to do. I realized that bringing our little girl home has become more to us than simply adding to our family. We dearly love our precious Mackenzie already - all we have are pictures and a medical file, and yet the love is fierce. We love this daughter we are adopting every bit as much as we love our wonderful son Nate who was born to us. When I heard this song though just recently, I really HEARD it. In providing a home of love and faith and the medical care that our sweet girl needs, we are living out as closely as we can on earth what Jesus has done for us. We have been adopted into His eternal family - his death on the cross was for us because he loved us - even before we were known. As if that blessed gotcha day is not going to be emotional enough - I forsee a strong spiritual element that day as well. Wow! We are almost 3 weeks into the wait for our PA - not that I am counting. :o)We have been so blessed as we trust God in this process. We were wondering how we were going to pay for Nate's tuition at CPLS this year considering that the adoption process got so expedited. I talked with the financial office at the school about an ammended payment schedule - and about the adoption process and how quickly things had changed. Just today she emailed to tell me that an anonymous donor had offered to pay a portion of our tuition and the balance is an amount that is doable for us. We are humbled to say the least and feeling as though we are in fact on the right track. We have questioned our "timing" (I guess I should say I not we) and each time I do God confirms for us that we are on the right track. A dear friend has said to us "If God leads you to it He will lead you through it." I've got to tattoo that on my forehead or something. :o)We do have some good news on the doctor/hospital front. We had been a bit concerned over a lack of response from our "local" (60 minutes away) hospital. I had sent some emails with quesitons and concerns, expecting some sort of response, and gotten nothing. I sent the same emails to a Boston doctor and heard back almost immediately. I was a bit put off by our local unit. That was a HUGE disappointment as we were looking forward to being able to have Kenzie's surgery done here in Kansas with friends and church family close by for support; and it was looking more and more like Boston was going to be the place. That brought up all sorts of other travel issues and left Nate out (again) because of school. Well I called the local doctor again and found out he had never received my emails, which I believe because I did not have a direct email for him. Long story short, I talked quite a bit on the phone with him and then resent my emails. He assured me he would review and respond to the emails. He also told me that the only surgery they were unable to do here is a transplant - fortunately we are not in need of that. We are still praying for a miracle, that when Kenzie gets home the doctors would say - is this really the same child? Her heart is healed! What glory to God and rejoicing would be going on in that doctor's office!!!! If God does not choose to heal our little one before we return home, we are greatful that it looks like her open heart surgery will be able to be done here. That is a great relief for us as we look at her surgery needing to happen within a couple of weeks of our return (hopefully late November or early December.Beautiful Kenzie - we are praying for you every day! We are praying that your heart stays strong and that your lungs are protected from harm. We are also praying that God will be preparing you to meet us and join our family. I cannot wait until we get our PA. As soon as we do sweet girl, Mommy is going to send you pictures so that you can get to know our faces - maybe then we will be just a little bit less scary. I cannot wait to hold you little one. You are in our thoughts and prayers every day! We love you.Hey Nate-man!! Hope you are having a hopping good time! (pun absolutely intended!) Mommy and Daddy are missing you so much. Our house is so quiet with you gone. I know you are having so much fun with Uncle Tommy and Gramma and Grampa. We are praying for you every day too. We are praying that you have a wonderful time and that you are safe. We are really looking forward to August 14 when you get home. We have pretty much finished your room. You are going to LOVE it!! We still have not gotten to see pictures of your cool new flat top hair cut . . . Gramma's in trouble for that one. Anyway, we love you so much! Hugs and kisses. Mommy.